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My Husband Is Dying Of Prostate Cancer

Advanced Prostate Cancer Symptoms

10 Warning Signs of Prostate Cancer

Men with advanced prostate cancer may experience additional symptoms. Thats because the cancer has spread from the prostate to other parts of the body, such as the bones or lymph nodes.

A wide range of treatment options are available for managing advanced cancer. These treatments kill cancer cells, but they may also help patients manage pain.

Signs of metastatic prostate cancer may include:

  • Swelling in legs or pelvic area
  • Numbness or pain in the hips, legs or feet
  • Bone pain that persists or leads to fractures

Ner Has Advanced Prostate Cancer

partner has advanced prostate cancer diagnosis 3 years ago. Hes experiencing extreme pain in his right hip which is constant… has anyone else experienced this pain and if so have you found a solution ,? Im at my wits end trying to support him through this and its tough…on him especially and all then all of us I myself had cancer breast cancer 6 years ago and have had the all clear… hes still managing to work which I find extraordinary, and good for him…its like the saying street angel, home devil … hes remorseful after hes gone off like a tyrant and I appreciate that hes in emotional and physical pain, Ashe feels a burden which hes not but Im finding it really stressful to put up with the tantrums where hes having a pop at everyone including himself. I stay calm and support him but sometimes when hes gone I just fall in a heap and feel useless… I think if we could get his pain from his hip under control will make a big difference to him but hes reluctant to try any other treatment or medication, any ideas on how to get to grips with this physical pain would be appreciated,….

Hi Mrsgiggly,

Love your nick name.

When I was diagnosed my PSA was 70. But withtreatment, hormone therapy and radiotherapy it came right down to 0.01, the lowest they can measure. That was a few years ago now. So I hope my experiance gives you and your husband hope.

Take care and best wishes, Brian

Nurturing Your Relationship And Sex Life

Prostate cancer can touch some of the most private areas of your life. Treatment often involves hormone therapy, which is designed to interfere with the hormones that can fuel the growth of prostate cancer. Side effects of this treatment can include a decline in sexual performance, libido, and erectile function.

At this most difficult time for you as a couple, theres a sense of robbery, that the illness has taken away intimacy, and specifically, sexual intimacy, says Morris. Theres a real struggle to recover the sense of a life together, and how to be intimate without having sex. Even if you find a way to regain erections, libido is still lower on hormone therapy than without hormone therapy.

Morris suggests that couples find other ways to express intimacy if, for example, intercourse is no longer possible. Physical contact hugging and caressing can help you and your partner feel close even in the absence of the sex life you may once have had. Working with a sex therapist or couples counselor can also help you and your partner find ways to address sexual or relationship problems you may be facing.

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Possible Changes In Body Function

  • Profound weakness usually the patient cant get out of bed and has trouble moving around in bed
  • Needs help with nearly everything
  • Less and less interest in food, often with very little food and fluid intake for days
  • Trouble swallowing pills and medicines
  • More drowsiness the patient may doze or sleep much of the time if pain is relieved, and may be hard to rouse or wake
  • Lips may appear to droop
  • Short attention span, may not be able to focus on whats happening
  • Confusion about time, place, or people
  • Limited ability to cooperate with caregivers
  • Sudden movement of any muscle, jerking of hands, arms, legs, or face

Who Is At Risk For Prostate Cancer

South Africa

All men are at risk for prostate cancer, but African-American men are more likely to get prostate cancer than other men.

All men are at risk for prostate cancer. Out of every 100 American men, about 13 will get prostate cancer during their lifetime, and about 2 to 3 men will die from prostate cancer.

The most common risk factor is age. The older a man is, the greater the chance of getting prostate cancer.

Some men are at increased risk for prostate cancer. You are at increased risk for getting or dying from prostate cancer if you are African-American or have a family history of prostate cancer.

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Watchful Waiting Vs Active Surveillance

To understand your choices, he explained, its key to know the difference between the two options for men if they do not seek immediate treatmentwatchful waiting and active surveillance.

While both strategies entail not being treated immediately, they are very different. The goal ofwatchful waiting isnt to cure or even treat the disease. Its not a good option for men with low-riskcancer. Its generally for men who, because of advanced age or a medical condition, are likely to die from something else before prostate cancer becomes a mortal threat. If the disease causes symptoms such as pain, these are managed, but the goal isnt cure.

Men with low-risk cancer, on the other hand, are good candidates for active surveillance. The goal here is to cure the cancerif it needs treatment at all. In many cases, these cancers dont even progress, so they dont really need treatmentand may never need treatment. With active surveillance, Dr. Hu explained, treatment is deferred until the time that there is evidence that the disease is progressing.

Current guidelines recommend active surveillance for most men with low-risk prostate cancer.

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Quality Of Life With Advanced Stage Prostate Cancer

Since Huggins and Hodges won a Nobel Prize in 1966 for their work describing the relationship between testosterone and prostate cancer, androgen deprivation has continued to be an important component in the treatment of advanced prostate cancer. It is associated, however, with significant cost in terms of morbidity as well as economics. Side effects of androgen deprivation therapy include hot flashes, osteoporosis, loss of libido or impotence, and psychological effects such as depression, memory difficulties, or emotional lability. Recently Harle and colleagues reported insulin resistance, hyperglycemia, metabolic syndrome, and metabolic complications being associated with castration and thus being responsible for increased cardiovascular mortality in this population.

Because of the palliative nature of androgen ablation, quality of life is an important component of evaluating competing therapies. Intermittent androgen deprivation is one approach to hormonal therapy that has been developed with the aim of minimizing the negative effects of therapy while maximizing clinical benefits and the patients quality of life. It can be used in any clinical situation where continuous androgen deprivation treatment could be applied.

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Possible Changes In Breathing

  • Breathing may speed up and slow down due to less blood circulation and build-up of waste products in the body
  • Patient may grunt while breathing
  • Neck muscles may look tight to help breathe
  • Mucus in the back of the throat may cause rattling or gurgling with each breath
  • The patient may not breathe for periods of up 10 to 30 seconds

Sexuality And Feeling Good About Your Body

Advanced Prostate Cancer Story: Jan Manarite Advocated For Her Husband For 13 Years

Prostate cancer treatment can often affect sexual function. Learning to be comfortable with your body during and after prostate cancer treatment is a personal journey, one that is different for everyone. Information and support can help you cope with these changes over time. Learn more in Sex and the Man With Cancer.

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Ernest H Rosenbaum Md

Clinical Professor of Medicine, University of California, San Francisco, Comprehensive Cancer Center Adjunct Clinical Professor, Department of Medicine, Stanford University Medical Center Director, Stanford Cancer Supportive Care Programs National/International, Stanford Complementary Medicine Clinic, Stanford University Medical Center, Stanford, California. More

Ernest H. Rosenbaums career has included a fellowship at the Blood Research Laboratory of Tufts University School of Medicine and MIT. He teaches at the University of California, San Francisco, Comprehensive Cancer Center, was the cofounder of the Northern California Academy of Clinical Oncology, and founded the Better Health Foundation and the Cancer Supportive Care Program at the Stanford Complementary Medicine Clinic, Stanford University Medical Center.

His passionate interest in clinical research and developing ways to improve patient care and communication with patients and colleagues has resulted in over fifty articles on cancer and hematology in various medical journals. He has also participated in many radio and television programs and frequently lectures to medical and public groups.

Last Days Of Life Health Professional Version

On This Page

Despite progress in developing treatments that have improved life expectancies for patients with advanced-stage cancer, the American Cancer Society estimates that 609,360 Americans will die of cancer in 2022. People with cancer die under various circumstances. A report of the Dartmouth Atlas Project analyzed Medicare data from 2007 to 2010 for cancer patients older than 65 years who died within 1 year of diagnosis. Across the United States, 25% of patients died in a hospital, with 62% hospitalized at least once in the last month of life. In addition, 29% of patients were admitted to an intensive care unit in the last month of life. Approximately 6% of patients nationwide received chemotherapy in the last month of life. Conversely, about 61% of patients who died used hospice service. However, the average length of stay in hospice was only 9.1 days, and 11% of patients were enrolled in the last 3 days of life. Significant regional variations in the descriptors of end-of-life care remain unexplained.

This summary provides clinicians with information about anticipating the EOL the common symptoms patients experience as life ends, including in the final hours to days and treatment or care considerations. The decisions commonly made by patients, families, and clinicians are also highlighted, with suggested approaches. The goal of this summary is to provide essential information for high-quality EOL care.


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What Are My Friends And Family Going Through

Cancer is a personal disease, but everyone close to you suffers in some way. Cancer is especially hard on family members, particularly when you are in the hospital for an extended time. The period of separation can be traumatic.

Family caregivers are often very stressed. Everyone in the family wonders where you will be in a month or two months down the roadin the hospital, a nursing home, at home and needing nursing care? They are afraid you will have great discomfort or pain.

Very often, the family struggles with questions about how needs can be met and care arranged in such a way that insurance companies will pay for it. They wonder how other caregivers can become involved so they can get back to work. Relatives who live some distance away may have to make plans for the care of their children so they can come and provide help for a few weeks or a month. Schedules may have to be rearranged, but people are often uncertain about when they should come. And all members of the family have fears of losing someone who is an important part of the familys life.

Withdrawal Of Ventilatory Support


Two methods of withdrawal have been described: immediate extubation and terminal weaning.

Immediate extubation. Immediate extubation includes providing parenteral opioids for analgesia and sedating agents such as midazolam, suctioning to remove excess secretions, setting the ventilator to no assist and turning off all alarms, and deflating the cuff and removing the endotracheal tube. Gentle suctioning of the oral cavity may be necessary, but aggressive and deep suctioning should be avoided. In some cases, patients may appear to be in significant distress. Analgesics and sedatives may be provided, even if the patient is comatose. Family members and others who are present should be warned that some movements may occur after extubation, even in patients who have no brain activity. Such movements are probably caused by hypoxia and may include gasping, moving extremities, or sitting up in bed. Immediate extubation is generally chosen when a patient has lost brain function, when a patient is comatose and unlikely to experience any suffering, or when a patient prefers a more rapid procedure.

  • Cochrane TI: Unnecessary time pressure in refusal of life-sustaining therapies: fear of missing the opportunity to die. Am J Bioeth 9 : 47-54, 2009.
  • Morgan CK, Varas GM, Pedroza C, et al.: Defining the practice of “no escalation of care” in the ICU. Crit Care Med 42 : 357-61, 2014.
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    Take Care Of Yourself

    While caring for a loved one, it is easy to focus all of your attention and energy on his needs. However, if you become emotional drained, your health and well-being may be negatively impacted and your ability to provide care will be compromised.

    Maintaining your own health and emotional fortitude will allow you to provide the support your partner needs. Making sure you get enough sleep, exercise and eat well will help you stay healthy. To maintain your emotional well-being, turn to friends and family in your support system. Make time for hobbies and other enjoyable activities.

    A prostate cancer diagnosis affects you and your partner. So be aware of the emotional toll your partners cancer is having on you.

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    People With Limited Information On Family Medical History

    You may not know your family medical history.

    Risk assessment tools such as the Breast Cancer Risk Assessment Tool can estimate your breast cancer risk without this information. However, it will be less accurate without your family history details.

    Talking with your health care provider about other risk factors for breast cancer can help you learn about your risk even if you dont have information on your family medical history.

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    Why Does Prostate Cancer Happen

    The causes of prostate cancer are largely unknown. But certain things can increase your risk of developing the condition.

    The chances of developing prostate cancer increase as you get older. Most cases develop in men aged 50 or older.

    For reasons not yet understood, prostate cancer is more common in men of African-Caribbean or African descent, and less common in Asian men.

    Men whose father or brother were affected by prostate cancer are at slightly increased risk themselves.

    Recent research also suggests that obesity increases the risk of prostate cancer.

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    Addressing Sex Vs Death Perceptions In Prostate Cancer Treatment

    How Cancer Kills You: Swamp Gas

    As part of my role as a Clinical Nurse Specialist in a busy prostate clinic, I see men as part of their decision-making process for active treatment for prostate cancer. The purpose of the appointment is for me to explain the results of their prostate biopsy, dispel any misinformation they may have about what those results mean, and talk to them about the quality-of-life side effects of the various treatment options.

    Some men come to see me with a long list of questions, often taken straight from the patient education materials we provide to them. Sometimes, its the spouse who has a list of questions, written neatly in a notebook with space below each question where they jot down my responses. Every now and then, a man appears with his wife, two adult children, and one of their partners. I bring in more chairs, take a deep breath, and prepare myself to answer all their questions.

    Some men ask me for a recommendation: What would you do, Doc? Thats an easy question to answer: Im a woman, I dont have a prostate gland, and most important, I am not there to tell them what to do. Others ask me what I would tell my husband to do this is a more challenging question, and my response to that is that I would support him in making a decision that was right for him because he would have to live with the consequences of his decision.

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    So Why Are We Talking About This Now

    My husband and I know a lot more about prostate cancer than we did a couple of years ago. For one thing, we know that it is one of the most common male cancers. We also know that while this is his cancer, going through this experience has had an impact on our life as a couple.

    Im writing about this now because the chances of a Beyond 50 woman learning that her beloved has been diagnosed with prostate cancer are significant. We hope our experience will be of help to others who will be facing the same situation.

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    Husband Dying Of Cancer

    It happened so fast… It started with a normal cough that wouldnt go away.. Before I could understand anything we where having test after test.. We had to stop the Chemo, His blood count is far to low as he was to weak, and now they tell me he has just 1/2 months to live.

    Watching him weaken each day, is the hardest part of it all.. His nose hasnt stopped bleeding for the last 3 days and its just blood transfusion after another..

    The cancer has spread and there is nothing they can do, One thing I dont understand – but Im happy for is that he has no pain and also is there a sign his passing is close – I dont want it to happen at the time Im out to take him some food or runs some chores and Iam so scared.. He is angry most of the time, even telling me his family will take everything yet they never care for him as I do.. I feel scared and get no help.

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